wedding.

Is it a little odd that I somewhat already have my wedding planned out and I don't even have a job? Or for that matter I haven't moved out of home? I don't have everything planned out to the t, but I have a good majority of things planned.

I know girls have their wedding planned at the age of ten, but for me, I never really thought of that. I wasn't into planning my wedding then. But when I met Jake, all I could think about was spending the rest of my life with him. I met him sophomore year, when I was fifteen, and I already knew he was going to be someone very important in my life. Someone I could not live without. Sure I hadn't known him at all and sure I found him extremely annoying when I first did meet him. But there was something there. There was something that stirred inside me and woke all of my organs, pumped my blood faster, made my heart beat at warp speed. Something of that sort.

Call me completely crazy, but I found who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with at the age of fifteen. And I am totally and utterly content with him. I know it's totally weird and yeah there are billions of people on the earth and I only ever had one other "serious" relationship, but I don't want or need to date anyone else. I don't need to meet the other fish in the pool. I found my fish. And he's awesome.

He was my first for everything. Odd to think that these days. How many people my age can you find that are with someone that they shared their first everything with? Slim to none. I love it. I love the fact that the person I will marry is the only person I shared anything with.

I must sound totally crazy, but whatever. I'd do anything for him. Anything. In all honesty if for some strange reason we broke up, I wouldn't date anyone else after him. I'd become the crazy cat lady. There is no one out there that could stir my insides and make me feel the emotions and feelings I have. He'd be the only person I ever shared everything with. And I'd still be content with that. I'd be lonely in some aspects, but no one could replace his company.

We might not have everything in common, we might fight, we might ignore each other, we might have our differences, but at the end of the day; I love him with everything I am and he loves me with everything he is.

When he asked me to marry him, that became the best day of my life. I've been with him for almost three and a half years, engaged a year. And I don't want anyone else.

I do wish some things would get better for us. I wish we were botha ble to find those perfect jobs and move out and get married and be on our own, move to Wyoming, and start a family. But those things will happen, with time. I need to also work on myself. I've got some of my own problems that need to be fixed before we make things permanent with each other. I'm not saying they're stopping us, him or me. But they could, eventually. And I don't want anything to stand in the way of Jake becoming my husband.

I want him forever. I want to be there for him. I want to take care of him. I want to be all that he needs. I want to love him. I want him. Forever and always.

I cannot wait until we get married. I honestly cannot wait.